Rhymes with Blog

Trust the housemate not to tell me about the Global Voices Valentine’s Day poetry contest. I found out in time to submit my entry, however. So much for her efforts to suppress my creativity!

Here’s my poem:

The Seventy per-cent Solution: A Valediction
for J Paul Serengeti

What can I do to prove to you
That I really am a dog?
(Damn you, New Yorker!)
Show loyalty? (By blogging daily? Answering every comment?)
Fetch? (Tried that; got sued by these people)
Sniff the behinds of other members of the dogosphere? (Would try it if I knew how)
“canineboy88″: a beguiling handle
And I, a novice in the ways of instant messaging,
Allowed you to lead me on.
You found my dog-talk “authentic”;
I found yours endearingly lame.

Who knew the answer would arrive
In a heart-shaped box?
“Be my Valentine!” your card read,
“Quit pretending you’re a dog and marry me!”
70% cocoa. Bittersweet.
It wasn’t easy swallowing that last praline.
But at least now, perhaps you will believe that I am a dog.
Or I was a dog
And stop hounding me.